Pashtoon men's women dilemma in the west
By Helmand Khan
Following the occupation of Afghanistan by the Soviet Union in the late 70s and 80s, subsequent civil wars there, and the quest for a better life by thousands of pashtoons in Pakistan, they (pashtoons) have ended up in Europe and North America and other parts of the world.
This is probably the first generation of Pashtoons who have joined in so many numbers, other tens of thousands of economic migrants in the west.
Upon arriving they face with new realities:
The first is how to respond to secular western values with gender equality and freedoms at its heart. Pashtoons' traditional society is mainly patriarchal where male dominates every sphere of life. Women have excluded roles and mainly confined to unrecognised domestic manual jobs. Woman is the symbol of honour for tribal men so they have to be wrapped up from public gaze. Any suggestion by women intending to play non traditional roles- not designated for them by men- is strongly resisted. The tribal code and the interpretation of religion have mainly shaped the woman- view of tribal men. Hence, with this cultural baggage, pashtoons arrive in the west- where women enjoy same rights as men and fully participate in the society- So how they treat their women while in the west.
They mainly respond in three ways:
The first group of people, who tend to be typical conservative/ traditionalist pashtoons, try to limit and discourage their women- wives & daughters- from fully participating in the mainstream society; they even get them enrolled in religious schools or madrassas.
The secondly category of Pashtoons would allow some space to women permitting them to get education in both sex schools, do jobs and attend mixed parties arranged by their fellow counterparts. However, they are on the edge: they are neither traditionalists nor secular pashtoons so can curtail women's freedoms any moment.
The secular pashtoons, who are rare in numbers, respond differently: they encourage their women to fully participate in the mainstream society, follow through their aspirations and try to integrate.
Interestingly, all three of the above groups are faced with this dilemma as to how to respond to the marriage choice of their growing up daughters- as the second generation of pashtoons is growing up in western societies. I have found many pashtoons planning to pack up once their daughters reach the age of marriage, for they would like to arrange marriage. However, others just could not force their choices on daughters and in the end have to agree to what their daughters decided.
However, what they need to understand is that the world does not revolve around the tribalistic view of women’s role prevailing in a small comer South or West Asia. The western world has made progress by allowing both its men and women realise their full potential.
Pashtoons need to understand that they can not go unscathed from the process of globalisation-read free movement of trade, labour, capital, travel and above all ideas.
While fostering links within community, they should not end up promoting tribal values- particularly the curse of honour in the name of which thousands of women are killed every year in tribalistic societies of Pakistan and Afghanistan.
Following the occupation of Afghanistan by the Soviet Union in the late 70s and 80s, subsequent civil wars there, and the quest for a better life by thousands of pashtoons in Pakistan, they (pashtoons) have ended up in Europe and North America and other parts of the world.
This is probably the first generation of Pashtoons who have joined in so many numbers, other tens of thousands of economic migrants in the west.
Upon arriving they face with new realities:
The first is how to respond to secular western values with gender equality and freedoms at its heart. Pashtoons' traditional society is mainly patriarchal where male dominates every sphere of life. Women have excluded roles and mainly confined to unrecognised domestic manual jobs. Woman is the symbol of honour for tribal men so they have to be wrapped up from public gaze. Any suggestion by women intending to play non traditional roles- not designated for them by men- is strongly resisted. The tribal code and the interpretation of religion have mainly shaped the woman- view of tribal men. Hence, with this cultural baggage, pashtoons arrive in the west- where women enjoy same rights as men and fully participate in the society- So how they treat their women while in the west.
They mainly respond in three ways:
The first group of people, who tend to be typical conservative/ traditionalist pashtoons, try to limit and discourage their women- wives & daughters- from fully participating in the mainstream society; they even get them enrolled in religious schools or madrassas.
The secondly category of Pashtoons would allow some space to women permitting them to get education in both sex schools, do jobs and attend mixed parties arranged by their fellow counterparts. However, they are on the edge: they are neither traditionalists nor secular pashtoons so can curtail women's freedoms any moment.
The secular pashtoons, who are rare in numbers, respond differently: they encourage their women to fully participate in the mainstream society, follow through their aspirations and try to integrate.
Interestingly, all three of the above groups are faced with this dilemma as to how to respond to the marriage choice of their growing up daughters- as the second generation of pashtoons is growing up in western societies. I have found many pashtoons planning to pack up once their daughters reach the age of marriage, for they would like to arrange marriage. However, others just could not force their choices on daughters and in the end have to agree to what their daughters decided.
However, what they need to understand is that the world does not revolve around the tribalistic view of women’s role prevailing in a small comer South or West Asia. The western world has made progress by allowing both its men and women realise their full potential.
Pashtoons need to understand that they can not go unscathed from the process of globalisation-read free movement of trade, labour, capital, travel and above all ideas.
While fostering links within community, they should not end up promoting tribal values- particularly the curse of honour in the name of which thousands of women are killed every year in tribalistic societies of Pakistan and Afghanistan.
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